Return To Your True Self

We have read and meditated much on the word teshuva this last month, some say it means repentance, some say it means return, but what does it really mean? How can we make it real in our lives as to effect not only our life but also our sphere of influence? I have read and listened to so many meaningful and well meaning teachings but I have to admit I still was looking for a way to walk it out, how to make it manifest in my life that it would bring about true change. This teaching touched my heart because as always I find my most meaningful inspiration in the Holy Scriptures.

The Maggid of Metzritch explained that the Avoda of Teshuva must attain a level that HaShem descends as it were to create and vivify the world with His life force. Everyone who heard this teaching were profoundly stirred. The Tzadik R. Meshulam Zusya of Anipoli said that he could not possibly attain the heights of such Teshuva, but he could break down Teshuva into its components, each letter of the word teshuva is the initial of a verse:

T--Tamim-"Be sincere with the Eternal your G*D" Devarim 18:13
SH-Shiviti-"I have set G*D before me always" Tehillim 16:8
U--V'ahavta-"Love your fellow as yourself" Vayikra 19:18
V--B"chol-"In all your ways, know Him" Mishlei 3:6
aH-Hatznei's-"Walk discreetly with your G*D" Micha 6:8

As we pray and meditate on these scriptures we can move from a state of potential to a state of actuality. Yes the Holiest of Days is a solemn day to be sure, but it is also one of joy and awe, it is said that on this day, more then at any other time we are closest to the very heart of G*D. I am one for looking back at my fondest memories and am always a little sad that they went by to quickly. Shabbat ends to soon, my time spent with my beloved friends ends to soon and I know this Holiest of Days will be over to soon. I will try as you all will, to grasp as much of HaShem as I can, to ask that He stand for me and with me so that I don't have to face this world alone. I can appreciate the request of Moshe when he asked to "see" HaShem. On Yom Kipper I too will request of HaShem to" see" what He requires of me, may my heart and soul be open to His reply.

In Rabbi David Lappin's shuir Physical Wellbeing and Survival:A Mitzvah Like Any Other he says, "The Yom Kippur fast is a unique opportunity for us to spend some time suspended in a space where our natural instincts do not prevail. There is hardly anything instinctual we do on Yom Kippur. It is not a day of sublimating instinct but a day of subjugating instinct. But the real opportunity is the moment of re-entry into the instinctual world immediately following the Fast. After an uplifting 25 hours, how will we re-enter a world where we again confront the gravitational pull of our animal instincts? Will we revert to habit and continue to oscillate between defensive instinct and heroic values? Or will we master our instincts and sublimate them as we perform the normal functions of life - not as instinctive imperatives but as halachik imperatives, as mitzvoth that differentiate us from all of humankind? Will we revert to nature or place ourselves in the supernatural - but for Jews, normal -category of ovdei Hashem - G-d's servants. The choice is ours to make."

Know that my heart is with all of you on this day, all my beloved friends who love HaShem as much as I do. If I have caused any one of you any pain please believe in my heart that I never meant to do so. May you have any easy and joyful fast.
The teaching below is from Rabbi Shimon Jacobson's 60 Days to the High Holidays
Much Ahavah, emunah and shalom, Elisheva


THE CYCLE OF FORGIVENESS

Yom Kippur,is called the "Day of Forgiveness" because this is the day when Moses, after pleading with G-d for 80 days to forgive the Israelites for the Sin of the Golden Calf, finally succeeded. On this day, G-d finally said to him: "I will forgive as you have asked."

On Yom Kippur we seek to connect to the energy of this awesome day and win forgiveness for ourselves as well. But we can hardly expect to be forgiven by G-d if we ourselves have not been willing to forgive others.

Forgiveness is not easy; it requires work. But, most importantly, it requires a connection to G-d, the Giver of Life (and now as the mother flame draws close to the spark, is the ideal time to feel this connection).

The secret of being able to forgive others is to remember that G-d gave you life because you matter to Him—you have a vital and irreplaceable role to play in the perfection of His world. When you remember that, you can have the strength to rise above the pain others have caused you and forgive both them and yourself.

The word for "forgiveness" in Hebrew, mechilah, is related to the word machol meaning "circle." Life is meant to be a circle encompassing all our experiences and relationships in one harmonious, seamless whole. When someone hurts us the circle is broken. Forgiveness is the way we mend the fracture.

Forgiveness means not merely forgiving the person who hurt us, but forgiving ourselves, forgiving G-d, forgiving even life itself with all its bizarre and often cruel twists and turns.

When you forgive, the circle is again complete and you find yourself encompassed by the wholeness of G-d's creation of which you are an integral part. And then you can have the confidence that this Yom Kippur you will hear G-d saying to you: "I will forgive as you have asked."

Ask yourself: Whom have you hurt? Who has hurt you?
Exercise for the day:
- Make a list of those whom you must forgive.
- Make a list of those whom you must ask for forgiveness.
- Begin.